how i looked like as a kid….

there’s no punch line to that……literally i looked like that ^^  only with a mustache…..and a beard…….and no pants…….never did get into that trend

1 out of every 4 ……..

i think they mean 1 out of every 4 personalities is ..... REALLY!?! NO one got that reference?!?! go watch my jeero, silly simon or olav videos, oh and take notes i'll be quizzing you 😉 ....... not sure why i winked there

oooOOooo i see what you did there ;)

.....see what he did there? 😉 ;)...... wait what, you didn't? ask yourself "where are his hands?" ask yourself "why am i so ugly?" MUHAHa! did i make you cry?, eff you i can build my tear gun without you!

drugging and driving can be hi-larious

and THAts why you shouldn't drive with your head outside your car

see, now that’s just mean…

silly simon goes to starbucks

what i look like, minus the mustache…..and the muscles

so i'm sure a lot of you have been wondering what i look like.......really? ..... do you REALLy care that much? "no not really, stop flattering yourself fatty" YOU're FAT!!

my last 3 days…

as all three of my followers know, i've been MIA due to some school stuffz....anyways, this is the type of fun i was having.... you know you've done well on a test when.....

voicemails and how much i like them…. spoiler alert: not very much

i love having to call my voicemail number, then entering my pass code, then waiting for the seductive robot lady voice to tell me i have 1 new voicemail and then to just hear you say: “hey it’s me, call me back”. now THAT’s information, i couldn’t have gotten from my caller ID =p

i employ a very simple system: if its nothing urgent, text me. if its important, send me a picture of yourself in that situation, preferably in a comical manner (e.g. “flat tire on the side of highway, dark, no cars, help!” —> show picture of self with no pants on beating the crap out of a scary clown with a tire iron… THAts comedy!)


additionally, coffee = jet fuel and broom also equals pony, or in my case: a car...... cause even as a child..... i kNEw i was special

batman in downtown…wonder if they make that suit in XXL

oh batman, you should come visit me sometime..we can discuss our crime fighting / jerky packet opening techniques. i generally prefer to use my laser eyes to burn off most packaging (and clothes)….oh whats that? you don’t have any ACTual powers except for your brains, money and prowess?………. HA! jokes on you, i don’t even HAve clothes….whaaat?

new drink at starbucks

next time you visit starbucks be sure to order "a trenta al-pacino with some of that white stuff sprinkled on it" (....vanilla powder), he usually brings his own whip................ does that even make sense? meh, doesn't matter............. HOOAAAAa

motherboy + siri = lols

siri = super intuitive really internet! <-- not sure why apple decided to call it that, but either way. here we have a loser using siri to make dinner reservations for his hot date, what's wrong buddy? seal eat your hands? ....... HAHAha, oh siri! your balls are like the falls, big, powerful and once you start going down on them, you can't come back up (the canadian side, not U.S =P)"

how to draw…the end of the world

seen above is my (see: "not actually mine") artistic rendition of how i imagine the world will end. unicorns have babies with pac-men with horse shoe mouths and swirly marbles have porcupine quills......what, it could happen!..... save us meteor man!! (MaYbe 1 other person will get that reference to the early 90s.... who am i kidding, you all know who i'm talking about)

CALL her!

couldn't make that up......unless my name were jock THat was definitely made up.....just like a jock who has phlegm. pffft, when i get sick i hock up bunny rabbits, the fluffy kinds you can eat....too far? okay i'll stop............or will i?!?!?....yeah okay,, bye!